And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
