if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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