mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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