I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
