Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
