Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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