I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
