He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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