If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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