I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I have aggressive nipples.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
