The maid of honor just puked.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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