just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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