ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
