Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
