Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
why do cheetos always look like penises
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
