In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
