we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
