what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
