I'm sorry my penis didn't work
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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