she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
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I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
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The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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