Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
