Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
