so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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