talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
