I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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