How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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