he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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