Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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