It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
