can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
