Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
third nipple confirmed
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize