oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
wow bdsm is so cute
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