Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
