if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
