can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
