Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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