"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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