Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
