Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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