Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
