Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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