Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
