I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
