we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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