dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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