two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
