around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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