i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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