we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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