**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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