2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
