Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
