I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
