is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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