this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
