we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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