respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
