I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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