I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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