keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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