How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He kissed a someone with a penis
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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