She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
