I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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