You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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