it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
