Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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