i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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