look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
We smell like vodka and hangover
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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