May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
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In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
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I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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