guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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