shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
